Someday we'll be together again
by Lexie the Dreamer
Summary: Her life was perfect until he was taken from her. Will grief take over or will she be able to find hope?


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the show CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

**A/N:** [Edited May 2009] This story used to contain big chunks of different song lyrics in between but I decided to remove them. This was written a long time ago and it was my first fanfic. **Thank you**, afitwilight, warricksgirl, janedoe144, Raquelinha and de rabbit du king for your kind reviews :)

* * *

She stared at the cracks in the walls; the whiteness of her room made her sick. She couldn't take it anymore, her despair was overwhelming. Her screams echoed through the corridors. Immediately the nurses came in with tranquilisers and a strait jacket, just in case. She stopped and looked at them blankly. She had never told anyone why she was here. Nobody knew the real reason, so they couldn't understand her pain. The papers said schizophrenia, but that wasn't all.

Everyday she went outside in her wheelchair for her usual walk. Her case wasn't as bad as the others, so she was allowed to go into the city accompanied by one of the nurses. She always ended up going to the same places. She looked at the LVPD building. Her dreams had been made here, but it was also where all of them had been shattered. She glanced at it bitterly and then headed to the cemetery. Slowly, memories started filling her head…

***

She grinned when she saw a big bouquet of red roses on her bed. He was always so sweet to her.

"They're beautiful! I love them!"

"And I love you…happy Valentine's Day, honey." He kissed her, holding her close to him. When he pulled away, he looked deeply into her eyes. _Why is he so nervous?_ she thought. He took out a little box from his pocket. He opened it and there it was: a lovely gold ring with a sparkling diamond on top.

"Oh my God!" she said, flabbergasted.

"Sara…will you marry me?"

***

She thought about the time when he had said those beautiful words. She answered "yes" without any hesitation. How could she not? He was her life, her spirit, her soul mate. She was even pregnant with his child. She sighed when she remembered their first night. They undressed each other and it just happened naturally…no pressure, no hurries. He just wanted to satisfy her in every way.

The next morning she found herself wrapped up in his strong arms. It felt good waking up beside him. She smiled sweetly at him when he opened his eyes and he responded with an equally warm smile. They made such a cute couple…It was almost impossible to be happier than they were. But then why do happy people have to suffer?

***

"You're late to work! Grissom's gonna be so mad. Besides, they need you…" she reminded him.

"But you also need me…I have to be here for you when it's time for the baby to be born…"

"I'll be okay. Go on, you can't stay locked in our house forever!" she laughed.

He had some doubt in his eyes, as if he was expecting something bad to happen. He gently touched her belly, which was enormous by now, then walked to the door and opened it, but before leaving he turned around and sang "Leaving on a Jet Plane".

"Every place I go I'll think of you, every song I sing I'll sing for you, when I come back I'll wear your wedding ring…so kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me, hold me like you'll never let me go…"

They smiled at each other. It was her favourite song.

"I love you, Sara."

"I love you too…" she said and he left. She was happy. _I'm gonna get married to the man I love, we're gonna have a beautiful baby, everything's gonna be perfect._

***

It's kind of strange how a perfect world can crumble to pieces…

He went to the crime scene with his colleague Catherine Willows. They were collecting evidence when Catherine's mobile rang.

"Willows. Hello? Hello? ...damn! My phone went dead. Maybe it'll work outside. You…"

"Yeah, I can handle it." He was then left alone dusting for fingerprints.

Suddenly, the murderer came out of nowhere. Before the CSI could defend himself, he was shot five times. Catherine screamed when she heard the gunfire.

"I need back-up now! Suspect on location!" she shouted at her mobile. She ran inside with some of the police officers but the murderer had already escaped.

"Oh my God…" she said when she saw him on the floor, bleeding. "The ambulance is coming, you're gonna be okay, you hear me?" But he started crying because he knew he wasn't going to make it. He knew that he would never see his beloved ever again and that he would never get to know his child…He knew he would never experience the joy of having a family of his own. He turned to Catherine.

"Tell Sara I love her…tell Sara not to cry, my love for her will never die…" he whispered, the lyrics of "Tell Laura I Love Her" one of the last things that came to his mind before he exhaled his last breath.

Catherine shook her head in denial. She couldn't believe that she had just lost one of her best friends, and it was all her fault. She shouldn't have left him alone…

Sara hadn't blamed her, though, when they told her. She blamed herself for making him go to work, because she remembered his reluctance in going. She became lost without him, she just couldn't live without his presence. She cried everyday because she couldn't deal with his death. The news shocked her profoundly and so she suffered a miscarriage, increasing her devastation.

Life had lost its meaning since she had lost absolutely everything: her future husband; her baby, the product of their love; and most importantly, she lost her dreams and her will to live.

Soon she started talking to herself and behaving in a strange manner. The last straw came after she heard the murderer had been caught and then tried to kill him when she found him. She wanted him to suffer and to pay for what he had done, for all the pain he had caused her.

Her punishment came a few days later. She was expelled from the LVPD, but she was considered mentally instable so they had no choice but to send her to the mental hospital. Her old colleagues tried to help her and send her someplace else, but she was too heartbroken to care about what happened to her. It hurt them to see her giving up on her life…

***

She reached the tombstone and got out of her wheelchair, kneeling down in front of it. He was far too young to die…he had so much to live for, so much to do…Why does God take away the good people in this world?

She had been so foolish to actually believe she'd have a happy ending. She should have known that when there's too much sunshine, the rain comes harder. Her thoughts drifted to the times when she had only thought about taking her own life.

One day she cut her wrists with a pair of scissors a careless nurse had left lying around. She had already passed out when Catherine arrived to visit her, who quickly called for help to stop the blood flowing. When she woke up she saw Catherine staring at her, smiling warmly. She looked at her wrists, now with bandages, and understood that Catherine had saved her life.

"Thank you, Cath…"

"I don't know what I would do if I lost another one of my friends…"

Sara flashed her gap-toothed smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Sara, I know your heart still hasn't healed, but please don't do anything like that again…I wouldn't be able to face myself if something happened to you…"

She realized that Catherine was telling the truth so she vowed never to try to commit suicide ever again. Yet she still missed him and prayed for him and for herself every night.

As she remembered all these things, tears began rolling down her cheeks. She touched the letters engraved on the tombstone. _'Nicholas Stokes. Dearly missed and forever in our hearts.'_

"I'm sorry, Nick. I'm so sorry!" she pleaded between tears. "I miss you so much…I will always love you. Always." For a second she thought she had heard him answer, just like he did when he was still alive. It was probably her imagination playing tricks with her.

"Miss Sidle? It's time to go back." reminded the nurse.

Once more she stared at his name.

"Goodbye, Nick…" she whispered, wiping away her tears.

"Miss Sidle…if you don't mind me asking…Who was he?"

"The love of my life…" she answered softly. To her own surprise, she managed to smile a little. She knew that he was watching down on her from Heaven and that he was now her guardian angel. _One day we'll be together again…_she thought, looking at the clear blue sky. After all that had happened, she still had hope in her. Besides, just like he had said, their love would never die…

***  
THE END


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